I had to catch up on some sermons from my church, because we had to take JM into the doctor yesterday morning, and we were out of town two Sundays ago. So, I decided I would watch them today to catch up on what I'd missed. Wow. We've started a new series called "Running with the Giants," and God is speaking some necessary truths through this series! But for today's blog post, I will only focus on yesterday's sermon... it was focused on David, but the jist of the message is submitting to authority. Allow me to dig deeper though.
This isn't my first rodeo on the subject of authority. God has been speaking to me about this for a LONNNNNNNNG time. So, am I just hard-headed and not listening? Not really. I learn a new truth about submission each time. But let's be honest, my flesh is pretty powerful at times and likes to rear its ugly head trying to make me forget the truths that I have learned. I don't pretend to be perfect, nor do I pretend to know everything there is to know about submission. I'm just walking it out- crying, fist pumping, and stomping my feet along the way- but I'm walking it out.
Starting out, I thought that submitting to authority was what we were supposed to do, no matter what the circumstances. But I'm slowly learning that there is more to it: the four tests of submission is what I believe it was called in yesterday's sermon. After watching it this morning (you can watch it here), I started thinking about how it relates to my life. And the Lord opened the floodgates. I was getting revelation about authority, but also some MAJOR revelations about other things I'm dealing with. I laugh when I think about how the Lord must be saying, "Well, Kay, when you finally do sit down to talk to me about these things, I need to cover alot of ground, because I never know when we'll get the opportunity again." I realize that's sad, but I've come a long way, and I also realize that He gets so excited when I even glance in His direction too. I just love the talks that we've been having lately, and it has been such a sweet time- I wonder why I don't make time for it everyday. But, I'm working on it. Again, not perfect, just walking it out.
So, here's what I know. Submitting to authority is a necessity if I want to walk closely with Him. After all, the authority He has placed me under on earth was appointed by God anyway. And if I am supposed to work in everything as if I am working for the Lord and not man, then by not submitting to my earthly authority means that I am not submitting to Him either. And I don't want to be rebellious, because rebellion was instituted by the enemy. So, everyday, I am given a choice: A. I will listen to the Lord's voice, and submit even when it's uncomfortable (note: I didn't say that I would submit to all out abuse, and there's a difference- watch the sermon). B. I will listen to the enemy's voice, and rebel against authority, because of course I know better, and of course I'm right, and of course I'm more experienced in these matters than they are.
I learned today that the reason I may be more experienced in something than my authority is because the Lord wants me to use it to SERVE my authority. Kay's motto, enter stage left: I am only here to serve. I'm not here to make a name for myself, or to advance some invisible ladder. I am only here to serve.
I went through a situation one time that I thought was just going to be the death of me. I remember thinking, "If ______ happens, I'm done. I can't do it anymore, Lord." And then it happened. I felt defeated, small, unworthy of the Lord's favor, and second rate. But somehow in the middle of it, I saw this little bitty glimmer of light. And out of nowhere I told the Lord, "Okay, let's do this. Let's get through this. I don't want to keep learning this lesson over and over again. If I get out of this situation, I'll most likely run into it again in a different form, so Lord, do the work in me that you have to do for me to get through this and come out on the other side victoriously." And guess what... He did. I can't explain it other than the fact that sometimes the Lord does a work in us that is supernatural- and things that bothered us about a person, or things that were unforgiveable, or situations that made us come unglued- no longer have any power over us anymore. The only thing I can tell you is that when I started repeating my little motto of servanthood to myself, something within me started believing it. It wasn't that my life no longer had purpose- it was that my life had the biggest purpose of all. I am not in this life to make a name for myself, or to be better than anyone, or to be the best _____ of all time, or to be anything other than a servant. Jesus said that we must first become servants. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. So, it's okay if I never get recognition for something great; it's okay if people think I'm stupid, or not good enough to be this or that; it's okay if nobody EVER knows my name.
I am only great because of the One who made me. Not because of what I've done, but because of what He did for me. I am a servant to that fact. I will walk it out in whatever ways He wants me to. I joke at work and tell people that my job title is janitor. It used to be that I resented having to clean up messes, or fix things that were broken, or take a project that nobody else wanted. But I realize today that the title of janitor is an honor. It's the ultimate position of servanthood, and I will bear it proudly. I might get promoted, or have some sort of "Manager" title after my name, but I will remind myself every morning that I am a servant. I am not here to make a name for myself, or to advance the invisible ladder. I am a servant.
Do yourself a favor... watch the sermon.
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